New Year - 2009

Wow, I can't believe that it is 2009 already! Where has the year gone?? And do I have any resolutions? Not really... not any that I'll keep! I do want this year to be super positive... one where I really do something that I'm passionate about, and that truly has an encouraging effect on other people. I feel like I should stop fretting about the things that I can't control, and concentrate on the things that I can affect.

For example, I always get so angry at things that other people do which bother me. I feel like my behavior is defined so many times by how other people behave towards me. Rather than that approach, I should really be acting like my own sweet self (ha!) and let the other party act the fool. My life would be so much easier.

I also need to start being a better encourager for others. So many times, I get caught up in what's going on with my life, and my own problems, and it becomes difficult to concentrate on other people's lives and what I can do to help them. I think I'm a pretty good listener... I always listen intently, and I learn so much about others that way. But sometimes, it really just stops there. I sometimes don't take the extra step to fulfill a need.

Gosh, the years are just flying by! I still remember being in college, wondering what I would be like in my late 20's. In some respects, I have superseded my expectations; in others, I have truly failed. I would never have imagined that I'd move to New York, start a life here, a career path... but I'd also never imagined how lonely my life would be. I feel like I had so many more real friends back in college. Maybe it was because of the plethora of time we have as coeds... or maybe it's because there's an automatic common ground. I'm around people all the time, but don't really feel that connection with them. I don't know what it is. Are people in NYC that different? Or is it me? I just feel that aside from the social aspect, there's no "real" friendship... and that saddens me.

Don't get me wrong -- I have met many great people. But would they come to my help if I needed it? Would I go to their assistance at the drop of a hat? I don't know.

Ultimately, I think family is the most important part of life. Sometimes, it just feels so lonely being away from my mom and sister and stepdad. I love my hubby, and he is my best friend ever, but I can't talk about girl things with him the way I do with another girl. We just feel so isolated sometimes without our family closeby. There's not the cluster of people who accept you for exactly the way you are, whether you're fat or skinny, ugly or old... or the people who you can laugh with and cry with.

I don't think I want to move home... I have so many good memories with where I grew up, and also some sad memories... and I do like the area I live in now, and the new "home" that we've established. But I do get homesick at times.

Plus, I'm not ready to have children and start a new sub-family of my own. I always thought that I'd be ready by the time I got to my age, but apparently not. I feel scared to be a parent. I can't imagine being responsible for molding someone else's life, for making them who they are. It's such a huge liability, and I'm so afraid that I'll fail.

Failure... I guess without it, we can't have success. Just like without fear, we can't have bravery. But why is it so tough??

A Dinner Conversation

I feel like every time I go out to dinner, I inevitably get seated next to people who have the strangest conversations. I never try to eavesdrop, but in tiny restaurants where I am only a few inches away from the next table, and the people are screaming, it is nearly impossible not to hear.

Last night, there was a crew of 6 people in their late 20's/early 30's, all trying to show how cultured and knowledgable they were. Aside from bursting out with the occasional (American-accented) Mandarin Chinese phrase or two, here were the two notable quotes of the evening...

"Brown rice is just white rice that has been dyed brown."

"Isn't Szechuan food just food that is made with walnuts?"

YEAH...

I braved Black Friday yesterday, but not until the afternoon. NO WAY am I going to wake up at 4AM to buy something that I really don't need! I can't believe that guy got trampled at the Wal-Mart in Long Island. Why are people so greedy, inconsiderate, and terrible? Is there anything THAT important to purchase that you need to shove somewhere over and stomp him to death?

I'm so over the materialistic, capitalistic holiday that Christmas has become in this world. Since when did Jesus' birth become all about buying things? I understand that because God gave us the greatest gift ever, we honor that by giving gifts to other people. But shoving, stealing and pillaging in order to give a present sort of defeats the purpose of this gift. Where's the love?

Right now, I am watching CNN, and it is depressing me. The focus is on recession-proofing one's job. Who knows what will happen in the coming year??

Back in the Game!

I had completely forgotten about this blog... well, sort of! I can't even forget about beauty products, apparently. I just got back from vacation in Morocco, and I wasn't even thinking about seeing the sites or eating some good tajine... I was too preoccupied with finding an abundant supply of argan oil!

Argan oil, in case you aren't familiar, is made from the nut of a tree that grows only in Morocco. The nut is about the size of an almond - maybe a tad bigger. In the process, the women (this is a woman's job, similar to the Shea butter production in other parts of Africa) form a small assembly line. The first woman picks off the outer shell. Then, the second woman breaks out the interior nut. The third woman grinds the nut into a paste that looks like milky peanut butter. The fourth woman forms the paste into cakes and squeezes out the oil The resulting "mush" is then made into soaps, added into lotions, or other products.

I went to several different places to find argan oil. The first was a berber pharmacy in the medina in Marrakesh. I bought 3 bottles of the ones for cosmetic use. (There is also a thicker "extra virgin" version that can be eaten with bread.) The second place was in the Ourikah Valley at the foot of the Atlas Mountains, where the women made all sorts of argan products. The third was in the government sponsored (price-fixed) store in the souk of Marrakesh. Needless to say, I had loads of fun trying all these products.

The place in the Ourikah Valley also offered scented argan oil. The oil has a nutty taste and smell, so they are offered in "perfumed" versions as well. There is Jasmine, Almond, Musk, Amber... the whole gamut.

So what are the benefits of argan oil? Well, aside from jumping into the trend (as Kiehl's and Josie Maran Beauty have) -- it is supposed to be very good for the skin. It purportedly helps with the fading of stretch marks and discoloration, and also helps to soothe and moisturize the skin.

I just started using my bottles, so I will definitely keep you posted.

On a more commercial note (and going back to my 2-year old post):

NARS came out with "Super Orgasm" blush last month. I tested it at Sephora and couldn't decide if I wanted to get it. It just seems to be teeming with too much gold glitter, although I think the base color is quite lovely. We shall see...